Time Heals All Wounds: Setting the Pace with Recovering

_{Photo by Andrea Piacquadio}

DRY YOUR EYES, GIRL by Christina Balzani is a heartbreaking reflection of trauma and abuse and a powerful self-help book for survivors of childhood sexual abuse; yet, while there is great suffering that comes with recovery, against the implacable tide of the years, time heals all wounds.

TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS

While the saying “time heals all wounds” offers a vague and general sentiment of the permanence (or the lack thereof) of trauma and abuse, it is not a dictum of passivity or inaction. Healing is not a waiting game, after all.

As such, it is better to look at the adage from another perspective.

Time, seemingly infinite and all-encompassing, is akin to a canvas, and one’s recovery is one’s art. We all know that true artistry cannot be rushed, nor can it be offered on demand; recovery is active engagement, a journey that is without a deadline.

It would do good to remember that trauma, whether it springs from a single event or a series, always leaves its mark. Trauma does not simply come and go. It arrives, and it burrows into your psyche. Often, it may hide away, but it will always come back, leaving us reeling from the return. Yet, it is important to acknowledge that, while trauma can never truly be shaken off, healing is still–without a doubt–possible.

And while time may heal all wounds, not all healing progresses in a straight line; in many cases, there is no rhyme nor reason to healing at all.

Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán

SETTING THE PACE WITH RECOVERING

There are many reasons why recovery should ideally be paced individually, not the least of which is variability. Everyone processes trauma differently, and there are specific factors that shape the nature and speed of one’s recovery. Therefore, it is extremely important that one learns to be as gentle with themselves as possible. It is pivotal for one’s recovery to acknowledge one’s pain, validate one’s emotions, and be self-compassionate. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend or anyone in need of support.

Healing takes time; always remember this, and rushing into it will never be a good idea. It is akin to being in a marathon; you have to be careful and steady, eyes in front of you, and be careful where you take a step.

And most of all, as you pace through your recovery, accept that healing does not have a specific end goal. It will not erase the past, nor will it help plan out your future. Healing is, first and foremost, grounded on the present.

CONSIDERATIONS TO TAKE NOTE OF

• Pay attention to your body’s signals, and notice when you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or triggered. Practice mindfulness to stay grounded in the present moment.
• Surround yourself with people who understand and support your journey. This could include family, friends, therapists, or support groups. Sharing your experiences can be incredibly validating and empowering.
• Learn to say no to what drains your energy or triggers your trauma. Give yourself grace. Set clear boundaries to protect your emotional and physical well-being and voice them out when they are violated.
• As trauma often strips us of our sense of control, a key part of recovery involves reclaiming agency, making choices that align with our values, and rebuilding a sense of purpose.  
• Acknowledge and celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. Progress will not always be measured in leaps and bounds. Often, actual recovery is the result of accumulation, of small and consistent efforts piling up until change happens.
• Setbacks are a normal part of the healing process. Don’t let failures derail your progress. Learn from them, adjust your approach, and keep moving forward.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto

In short, to say that time heals all wounds is not to say that one must be passive in one’s recovery, but it is to say that recovering is an active invitation. To acknowledge the role of time and yourself is about recognizing that recovery should not be about returning to who you were before but about becoming a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. By setting your own pace, you can navigate the complexities of trauma recovery and create a life filled with meaning and purpose.

DRY YOUR EYES, GIRL can be purchased through this link.