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Healing is a beautiful process, but it can also be excruciating.
To genuinely heal, you must look back and bravely face the situations you have pushed back at the back of your mind to find understanding and acceptance for what had happened. You must learn to face your demons, and only then will you dismantle negative cycles and find healing forever.
The healing journey after childhood abuse will be distant, but a great way to begin is by going through the stages of emotional healing. You must come to terms with what happened and find and nurture compassion for yourself. However, with the blaming and guilt that may initially occur, this process will be challenging, but remember, it’s not impossible.
Healing may not be linear, but you will progress. This will involve ups and downs, as well as some setbacks. But if you push through, there will come a time when you will be free.
Understanding the Emotional Recovery Process
When faced with trauma, it’s normal to find yourself emotionally unwell.
What happened is not only devastating but also disorienting. You may think you have let go and moved on, but in certain periods, you will feel less of yourself. Like an empty shell, you will find it challenging to comprehend your emotions.
You’re living, but it will feel like you aren’t there.
If you feel empty on some days, you aren’t alone. After you’ve gone through something traumatic, your mind will take time to heal and process why that had to happen to you. During this time, emotional healing becomes crucial.
What Is Emotional Healing?
Emotional healing is meant to piece you together, body and soul, through empathy, self-compassion, self-regulation, and self-acceptance. It’s intended to help you acknowledge, accept, and process your painful experience. Through the stages of emotional healing, you will gradually work through the feelings you’ve felt throughout the trauma until you regain your peace.
Emotional Healing vs. Emotional Suppression
When it comes to processing situations, people subconsciously practice one of these two mechanisms. However, they’re poles apart.
Unlike suppression, emotional healing will help you unravel your emotions. It’s letting everything out as opposed to keeping them in, genuinely healing from emotional wounds. Emotional healing makes sure you don’t become a ticking emotional wreck, only a trigger away from exploding.
Why Is Emotional Healing Essential?
Research has shown that, on top of the psychological impacts of abuse, people will also carry emotional trauma in their bodies. If these aren’t released or processed, they will not only weigh the body down but also translate to physical symptoms. These will not only be destructive personally but also rub off onto relationships and other aspects of life.
Carrying emotional baggage can be tough. Hence, it’s only practical and vital to resolve any negative emotions and experiences and find freedom through feeling.
What Are the Stages of Emotional Healing?
As you go through the stages of emotional healing, it pays not to expect stringent progress. You won’t be going through one step after another in a breeze. It will get tough, but the end will be worth it.
Healing is beautiful. Anyone who’s gone through so much pain wants nothing but to have it all taken away from them. It’s tempting to want to heal as soon as possible. However, don’t try to fix it all at once.
You don’t have to pressure yourself to achieve it. True healing takes time.
Stage 1: Awareness
The first step toward your journey to emotional well-being is recognizing your pain. It can be embarrassing to be emotional, especially over something you might also be ashamed about. However, listening to your inner voice is integral to healing. Let the thoughts of shame and embarrassment go, and acknowledge that you’re in pain.
Here are some signs you may be hiding your pain:
- Emotional Instability
- Difficulty Concentrating
- Intrusive Thoughts or Flashbacks
- Self-Blame or Shame
- Numbed Emotions
- Poor Self-Esteem
- Physical Aches or Pains
- Overthinking
Stage 2: Acknowledgment
Once you know you’re in pain, permit yourself to sit with it. Don’t avoid your emotions. Instead, learn to ride them out. Listen to and embrace your pain—befriend it in the sense that you try to understand where it’s coming from, but don’t let it fester. In embracing these negative emotions, you should also learn to hold yourself back from being consumed by them.
Stage 3: Acceptance
Sitting with the pain is one thing, but uncovering its underlying cause and what triggers it is another. More often than not, people don’t like to think about what happened to them because it will only cause hurtful and damaging flashbacks. They would opt to forget about it, shove it at the back of their minds. However, this isn’t healing. It’s simply moving on with life without making sense of things.
To heal, you have to reclaim your story. Rewrite the narrative, and make peace with what happened. That traumatic event doesn’t define you; your story shouldn’t revolve around it.
Stage 4: Release and Let Go
Once you’ve sat with everything and addressed every trigger, it’s time to let go of this emotional weight. Cleanse yourself of any stagnated or negative emotions connected with the event. Look inward and self-reflect on what triggers your emotions.
Let go, but at the same time, make space for yourself to experience the depths of emotions—simply because you’re learning to release doesn’t mean you can’t welcome relative emotions anymore.
Stage 5: Renew
After you’ve made sense of what happened in the past, moving forward is inevitable. Rebuild yourself and find wholeness once again. When something traumatic happens, people often feel empty. This is normal, but it shouldn’t be allowed to last.
Life is still beautiful, and letting go of what happened entails seeking this beauty in new things again. Learn to create new habits and establish new boundaries. Find your purpose again by reconnecting with the things that once brought you joy and sparked a fire inside. Renewing yourself is a beautiful journey, and you must be willing to choose every day.
Again, remember that healing is not linear. You might be feeling well today and spiral down the next. These ups and downs are part of the process. Embrace them and find beauty in them.
Tools to Support Your Emotional Healing
Emotional healing can be a trudging journey. However, you aren’t alone throughout. Whether it’s support groups or tools society has created, there are multiple safe spaces that will help you heal and ground yourself throughout the process.
Here are some tools for healing your emotional wounds:
- Mindfulness
- Meditation
- Journaling
- Somatic Practices: Yoga, Breathwork and Grounding
- Nourish Yourself
- Creative Outlets
- Affirmations and Mindset Shifts
From Surviving to Thriving—Reclaim Your Light
Healing isn’t linear, and that’s okay. You will experience setbacks and emotional relapses, but this doesn’t mean you’re failing. There is no failure in healing, only growth that often comes during tougher days.
We may have only listed five stages of emotional healing in this article, but this isn’t established and universal. People heal in different ways and paces. What takes five stages to others may be longer or shorter for you. Time and duration don’t matter when it comes to healing.
Focus on living the process and learning what you can learn throughout. Experience your ever-expanding emotions and find life satisfaction.
Remember, you aren’t alone in the process. Read healing materials like Christina Balzani’s Dry Your Eyes, Girl. Find empowerment and encouragement through her words. Grab a copy of her book now!
